Expectations, Disappointment, and Poor Communication

Occasionally our office email resembles "Dear Abby" correspondence more than professional payroll and tax service questions.

Today we received an email from a Household Manager for a socially prominent family. The employee was disgruntled and looking for us to help him secure his 'rights.'

At issue were the following:

1. He has worked 3 years without a raise.
2. He has worked overtime and never been paid for it.
3. He doesn't have medical or retirement benefits.

He states the employer is constantly telling him what a great job he does and how happy they are that he is working for them. He wonders why, then, if they are so happy they will not "Show Me the Money" and to whom/where he should 'report' them.

An annual performance appraisal and possibly a salary increase are common expectations in the US workforce. One has to wonder both why the employer has ignored this for three years running, and also why the employee has not ASKED the employer to meet about these issues. A salary review and benefits, however, are not rights guaranteed by law. Rather, they recognize the expectations of the workforce, the competition for competent employees, and the employer's understanding that employees who are not suitably rewarded for good and loyal service will begin looking for greener pastures.

The employee has stewed about this for better than two years, ever since he missed his first annual review. Over time, I sense he has become bitter. Instead of asking for advice on how he can make this situation better, he wants to get even. This particular relationship may not be reparable at this time. However, it illustrates the larger problem about poor communication between household staff and their employers.

The employer who offers words of praise with no meaningful salary or benefit recognition to back the words up ends up in a situation where the employee is unhappy, and further words of praise when a job is well done are meaningless. The employee who avoids asking the employer to sit down and talk about salary and benefits for two years shares the guilt in the communication breakdown. Granted, the employer should have initiated to conversation. Consider, however, that the employer may be clueless or so overwhelmed with day to day life that it simply never occured to him. Why wouldn't the employee simply say "Sir, could we schedule a half hour meeting to go over my job performance in the next week or so?" The employer could say NO, at which point the employee would KNOW where he stands, rather than sitting silently on the sidelines wondering.